The Conscious Competence stage is one of hypersensitivity. In it, you begin to be aware of everything you say. You are moving your bracelet far less frequently because you are very careful when you speak. You are now talking in more positive terms because you are beginning to catch your words before they come out of your mouth. Your purple bracelet has gone from being a tool for recognizing when you complain to being a filter through which your words pass before you speak them.
The words you use when complaining often will be the same as the words you use when you are not. It is your intention and your energy behind what you say that determine whether or not you are complaining.
The shortest path to get what you desire is not to talk about or focus on the problem. Focus beyond the problem. Talk only about what you desire, and only to someone who can provide the solution. You will shorten the wait time for what you seek, and be happier in the process.
Our focus must be on what we want to occur rather than on what we don’t want to happen. Complaining focuses our intention on what we don’t want to occur.
Complainers ask, “Why?” Complaint Free people ask, “Why not?”
“The most important thing to remember is this: to be ready at any moment to give up what you are for what you might become.” —W. E. B. DUBOIS
INSTEAD OF CONSIDER Problem Opportunity Setback Challenge Enemy Friend Tormentor Mentor Pain Discomfort I demand I would appreciate I have to I get to Complaint Request Struggle Journey You did this I created this
When someone asks, “How are you?” I have heard people groan sarcastically, “Another day in paradise.” I decided to adopt this as my own genuine answer to this question. Not as a sarcastic statement but as a sincere belief: “It’s another day in paradise.” It was uncomfortable at first but has now become second nature. I’ve noticed that this comment makes others smile brightly, and more important, it reminds me that I have a choice in that moment to be happy or sad, to dwell in heaven or hell. Do you know what the word “amen” means? A friend of mine said, “It’s a way of closing a prayer; sort of like saying, ‘Over and out, God!’ ” Well, not exactly. Amen means “and so it is.” It is putting an affirmative close to what you have prayed to receive. It is a statement of faith that what you seek already is. You have released your request to the Infinite and affirm that it is so now.Consider how powerful your words are and decide if you would say, “Amen” (and so it is) to them, intending that your words be true.
“Men cheat.”And so it is.“
Nobody likes me.”And so it is.
“That customer never buys.”And so it is.“
I’ll probably die alone.”And so it is.
“I can’t find a job.”And so it is.“
Life is unfair.”And so it is.“
I’ll never get out of debt.”And so it is.“
I’ll never find a job I love.”And so it is.“
What you say becomes your reality. Your habitual inclination in the past may have been to say something critical, sarcastic, or negative. It takes a while to retrain yourself, and the best soil for growing the seed of a new way of speaking is silence. Take a moment to breathe and choose what you will say. Then choose wisely.
Choose to speak what you desire rather than complaining about the way things are. And if you complain, shrug your shoulders and start again. You will succeed if you stay with it. It takes persistence to do something this important.