Jessica R Greggs
10 hrs
I thought I could like ENTJ males but I’m finding ENFP more compatible. Where ENFP is perceptive of my feelings without me saying a word, and showing concern and compassion, ENTJ seems to lack this behavior. Is this a common thing? I don’t like blanket statements. I just feel ENTJ to be a bit selfish and egotistical at times. Not hating just an observation.
-INFJ
Jami Sue Becker ENFP’s are great with your feelings. They are totally aware how crummy it feels when they flake on you 🤣. Charm you and everyone else.
Jessica R Greggs Jami Sue Becker I agree with Immature ENFP being flakes. Found male ENFP above 35 to be a bit more mature in that area .
Jami Sue Becker Jessica R Greggs I have a ton of post 35 ENFP friends but they are solidly in the tolerate their flakiness for fun column. They are all universally incredibly selfish partners and parents. Long term I would never choose them as my primary partner but by all means you do you.
Jami Sue Becker I have always been 100 wary of charmers. Honestly, though they might be better for you. Some people eat that sh*t up. I think they are like a trip to the Amusement Park it’s awesome but I don’t want to live there.
Jessica R Greggs Jami Sue Becker I get it.. but there are ENFP’s that aren’t bubbly little balls of energy. Some are laid back and mellow and just very caring and loving.. and I’m seeing it’s usually an age thing. The younger males aren’t reliable imo.
Jami Sue Becker Go get it girl!
Razvan Florentin Popescu Jessica R Greggs everyone mostly grows w age. but their weaknesses are the worst in my value system of course they are compatible with an avoidant feeler .. but thats irrelevant to us
Razvan Florentin Popescu but in that combo, i would take it that its them that are more likely to not have their needs met , anyway. test it out. its a win win sit
Jami Sue Becker Razvan Florentin Popescu irrelevant to us...exactly
Barry Trimboli Selfish and egotistical? Yeah that's probably one way of looking at it. I'd say more like wanting the best for myself and moving everything in the direction that will make it happen. I've noticed sometimes it results on stepped toes. Meh, either you'reon board on not. Don't wanna come for the ride then get off please. We do certainly have things like compassion and concern, that stuff is important. But they should never drive a relationship, otherwise it will just be a mess. Also, no offense taken.
Jessica R Greggs Jun Tao don’t wanna ride with you, sorry not sorry.
Razvan Florentin Popescu Jessica R Greggs i blocked that vegetable
Brian Bertrand Cool story
Joy Love I am extremely intuitive actually... where I am perceived as selfish is when I expect that others will fight as hard as I do to make the changes I want to see in my own life, I can become quickly annoyed. We all have feelings, we don’t all act to make changes. In cases where I come off as selfish, it is because of just that. Note: I am an ENTJ, and a Case Manager in chemical dependency, so yes I do care about others.
Johannson Yu Entjs are born to fix things and move on. The emotionnal part is smaller exisitence in their function. Especially Fi is their inferior function. Under develop entjs will use their roughness of being able to perform best to disregard feelings for others in order to complete their task.
Eicelynne Williams Idk I've been with an XNFP and it was a God damn nightmare. I felt like I had to constantly walk on egg shells and he would get butthurt when I'd joke around with him. 3/10, do not recommend. But, then again I'm an ENTJ who tends to do better with xSTJs.
Razvan Florentin Popescu but then again she is a feeler ) maybe you missed that part. nobody expects ENTJs to deal with NFs . i know i dont
Eicelynne Williams HE was a feeler and actually there's a big thing within the MBTI community that pairs ENTJs with INFPs and then INTJs with ENFPs.
Luc Lefebvre I take your feelings into account in my decision to move on and not give a shit.
You can't run a tight ship if you start wasting your time hearing about the the feelings of everyone. Life happens. Deal with it and keep moving.
Jessica R Greggs Luc Lefebvre everyone? Who said everyone? How about those you are in a relationship with?
Barry Trimboli Far out. I think I've developed a mancrush on you Luc Lefebvre you are saying all the right things right now. 'not give a shit, deal with it, tight ship'. This is the stuff.
Luc Lefebvre My gf is ENFP. She knows I care about her, but she also knows that I don't let my emotions drive me and she knows that I won't tolerate that she lets her emotion drive her. It helps her a lot in her professionnal career. And if she wants to talk about her feelings and feel like she won't be judged, she knows she can call her mother or her girl friends. But if she tells me about her feelings and bad she's feeling, she knows I will tell her to suck it up if it feels unjustified.
Jessica R Greggs Barry Trimboli that’s your personal motivations to better yourself and nothing to do with interpersonal relationships. I’m talking about relationship wise obvi.
Luc Lefebvre By the way, there is differences between empathy, sympathy and compassion. I'm compassionate. Not empathic. Empathy can make you powerless (and useless). You seem to want someone that shows empathy, not compassion.
Jessica R Greggs Luc Lefebvre 🤔 You lack empathy. Wow.. you don’t see that as a flaw?
Luc Lefebvre No, why would it be?
Luc Lefebvre Compassion made me give my kidney to a friend. Not empathy. If I was empathic, I would have lied helplessly by his side while he was having his 3-4 dialysis sessions every week at the hospital and while his health and general life condition was going to shit. We would have talked for hours and hours about how he was feeling helpless of his genetic condition. I didn't do this. Instead, as soon as I learned, I told him to take a part of the meatbag I am (my kidney) and put it into his body so it would fix his problems and, generally speaking, not affect my body. It's a logical, optimal behavior that takes into account everyone's feeling but that does not prevent anyone from functioning. So we can all move forward.
Jessica R Greggs Luc Lefebvre it’s cool I don’t wanna have a lecture about general psychology. Do you, be yourself.
Luc Lefebvre I'll give you a lecture anyways as you came here bearing judgments instead of gifts.
Jessica R Greggs Luc Lefebvre Your lecture is on deaf ears because you lack empathy for others as do sociopaths. Empathy doesn’t mean laying in a bed next to your sick friend for days. That’s absurd. Lecture someone below your intellectual level because I don’t wanna hear it.
Luc Lefebvre That's what I'm doing...
Luc Lefebvre Not hating just an observation.
Luc Lefebvre (to use your words)
Jessica R Greggs You’re obviously just obnoxious. My OP was not offensive and you got butthurt. You lack empathy. See ya later Dahmer.
Lindsey Walsh Nah, it really kind of was. What is your point here if you've concluded you blanket cant like entjs. Lol
Poulomi Ghosh Luc turned out to be a better person than Jessica. Jessica is just lame.- INTP
Razvan Florentin Popescu love this thread )) whenever i get INFJs here or reddit, coming at NTs with their biased stories and fucked up values and psychoanalysis .. they always end up butthurt. we are the pure reflection of reality. best vision you can encounter (INTPs matches it sometimes, but mostly they lag behind due to lack of experience). this is the conceptual retort of truth / nature if it could talk to you NF babies ) might want to study selfesteem and understand why you are at the low end of that rainbow
Amber Fortner Selfish? Maybe a bit more possessive. What's mine is mine and I will better it. But yeah definitely a bit egotistical...and a little bit narcissistic which seems to actually cover insecurities they 'don't have.'
Dennis O'Leary Personally I am interested in what people think,... how they feel?.. meh.
Carlton Duty II You want a man to be preceptive of your emotional state, specifically you expect an ENTJ man to do it? We aren’t even aware of our own emotions most of the time! I dunno who told you INFJ/ENTJ was a good match but I’m not a fan of that pairing.
Liz DelSignore Lol, yeah, we have to give enough of a shit about our own feelings first before we're going to care about anyone else's...
Carlton Duty II Liz DelSignore That’s not what I wrote. That may or may not be true, but it’s not what I wrote at all.
Liz DelSignore I've worked basically all day, on a day I usually dedicate to doing absolutely nothing (Sunday), so... I'm a bit fried. I don't get why people think NT/NF is a good pairing. At. All. I tried it...a few times. All of them crashed and burned pretty badly.
Carlton Duty II Liz I concur. I was so wasted after I got home I did laundry and forgot to add detergent. 💣💥🤣
Liz DelSignore Carlton Duty II I mean I went to eat pizza at 2:30 AM after I had a few drinks (in an uber, because I'm too responsible) because the pizza was half priced and my dude really wanted to go lol
Razvan Florentin Popescu Liz DelSignore #meatheals#peak-human.com #jeffvolek
Supaluk Saeva ENTJ i met actually balance the traits very well, perhaps only if their goal at the moment is about relationship. They know just the exact things to do for themselves and the partner but if their goal is more about work (which very much likely) then nothing can stop them, they wont stop just because of their own pain or other people's pain. I met only few ENTJ though.
Jessica R Greggs Supaluk Saeva initially I thought the same and they do fascinate me .. It just seems that every ENTJ I’ve met fails to fulfill that spiritual/emotional connection we INFJ crave.
Supaluk Saeva Jessica R Greggs They didn't pay attention with these areas but they do tolerate it if it's your thing and ready to figure out if it's not too emotional. They even give the insight that could actually solve the problems practically but to ask them to go deeper in the rabbit hole with us, they wont go but if they still care they will wait at the entrance to pull us back.
Moataz Khamis Jessica R Greggs Can I ask you a Question...Who attract first ? You or them & "It just seems that every ENTJ I’ve met" Why specifically ENTJs although there are alot of men ?!!!!
Jessica R Greggs Moataz Khamis ENTJ pursues me.. I find them interesting enough to become vulnerable, then they fail to meet the common emotional decency I expect out of a relationship. This is an opinion, this is not every ENTJ. This is my experience people.
Razvan Florentin Popescu nicely worded again, by that masterful arrogant INFJ true self )) *common emotional decency* krappa
Danielle Gardner Mines awesome. I doubt you've met enough to form an educated opinion.
Louis Reed Everybody is wrong but her... But we're the ones with a problem 🤷♂️. I just don't the see the point in posting if you aren't receptive to useful feedback just because it doesn't agree with you or confirm your bias.
Danielle Gardner Louis Reed coming to this group to make a post like this speaks volumes about her character. -ISFJ
Jessica R Greggs Louis Reed Not everyone is wrong. Just the assholes and I’ll gladly block.
Razvan Florentin Popescu Jessica R Greggs thats not the definition of an a hole
Supaluk Saeva MBTI really gets people to form the tribe when they come to defend the stranger because they probably share the same traits.
Jessica R Greggs Supaluk Saeva MBTI cults.. I literally wasn’t trying to be offensive.. and then all the asshole ENTJ boys came out to play. Some of them actually gave good feedback.. others egos got bruised rather quickly.
Supaluk Saeva Jessica R Greggs I wonder who is this asshole............ I like to troll them though.
Jessica R Greggs Supaluk Saeva Lol. Just look at previous comments if they appear still. Idk, I’ve blocked em.
Razvan Florentin Popescu Supaluk Saeva you might have not learned yet, but ENTJs are immune to trolling. ) your intentions are irrelevant, a challenge is a challenge we treat it the same. so ur pretty much wasting ur time with these delusions
Barry Trimboli Jessica on the contrary bettering myself has everything to do with my partner as well. I want her by my side. Not shuffling her feet 20 paces behind rumbling through her pockets looking for her phone. She's gotta be sharp, on point, able to roll with it. If she can't keep up, regardless of her mbti she outta there.
Jessica R Greggs Barry Trimboli I am INFJ not INFP. I actually go out in the world and have a solid career. I’m not a cry baby, worried about a cat that possibly got run over somewhere. I’m just saying, ENTJ doesn’t seem to be on that same wavelength when it comes to trying to connect with an intuitive feeler like INFJ. I find them constantly talking about themselves and a lot of judging, even when they themselves have faults like we all do. It just gets draining for me
Barry Trimboli Ok fair enough. More power to you. Tell me what did you hope to achieve with this thread? Thoughtful discussion? And in no way do I think anyone here is being an asshole towards you. If anything it's light ribbing. Honestly, I've seen people torn to pieces in this group for less. I think you may have gotten your back up and are thinking you're being treated unfairly. It's only people responding to you, that's all. Don't like it? Just Ignore. Blocking seems something a scared person who doesn't have the spine to explain their position would do.
Jessica R Greggs Barry Trimboli I block morons. I don’t block opposition, hence why you haven’t been blocked. I don’t need to justify that either. I’m not afraid to challenge anyone. There are just certain people that are worth my time and others Ermm not so much.
Razvan Florentin Popescu im curious who youve blocked though. cause i didnt see anyone taking a piss..
Candise Williamson As an INFJ myself, I personally love what an ENTJ brings to the table. Not all INFJs are created equal is guess. I have damn backbone and I’m the master of my own emotions. Not only that, men aren’t mind readers. You need to be forward with them, no matter what mbti they are. If you want a partner that is going to hold you to a high standard and bring you back to earth (which real INFJs need) then you could MAYBE handle and ENTJ. They aren’t selfish when it comes to the things that matter, but that’s only if you really have their heart. They only give it away ONCE, they don’t make the same mistake twice.
Damian Sciaretti "You need to be forward" ^This. Clear& direct
Sam de Melo The problem is, I've had enough experiences with INFJs (at work, on the internet) to know that you can't be trusted to hold true to what you're saying about yourself. "Oh you have to be honest, you have to be forward, blablabla". That's ONLY until there's some conflict of interest, then the games begin, the indirectness, the mind-reading. ENFPs, being intuitive AND oriented around the object, can understand and play these games. They can navigate these situations with you flawlessly without confrontation.
Sam de Melo Also, being feelers, they actually act on value. They're more easily accessible. The assumptions you make about their feelings will hold true for the most part. This doesn't happen with thinkers.
Candise Williamson I agree that the INFJ/ENFP is a better match for most INFJs...personally, they aren’t for me. Being a more ‘seasoned’ person has a lot to do with how we ‘use’ our skill set as well, same goes for the ENTJs. I can’t stand playing games and all that bullshit. Though, if I wanted to, I could play them very well. I VALUE straightforwardness. I think our raising has a LOT to do with how feelers turn out. Feelers either rise above their raising, or they use it as a crutch the rest of their lives. Thinkers don’t seem to have that hang up as much.
Angelica Scott-Phillips ENTJ don’t like mess of any sort and that includes people. We have missions to complete , no one lied about that. That is how we are useful and make the world run. Blocking people??? Who is an asshole and who is not is all about perception. Blocking people? Is that not an asshole move?? Or an Ego trip in its own right???
Jessica R Greggs Angelica Scott-Phillips Blocking people is self preservation when they bring nothing to the table for productive discussion but ego and fuckery. Why must this be explained, idk. 🙄Especially when dude admitted he doesn’t have empathy. Like that’s just a normal human attribute.
Angelica Scott-Phillips Jessica R Greggs just do what the ENTJ does and ignore. When you walk into the wolves den and expect no slaughter... Are ya following me?
Jessica R Greggs Angelica Scott-Phillips Nah blocking is much easier. I’m not opposed to differing views and opinions. I’m opposed to blatant assholes. I’m pretty good at reading between the lines.
Razvan Florentin Popescu jessica, first of all, you start from the false premise of what empathy is or at best of what that man considers empathy. second i disagree that he didnt bring anything to the table, or that empathy defines that measure.. sounds like all or nothing fallacy third i agree with blocking as selfpreservation. i mean some people have low selfesteem and have a hard time managing conflicts , they need all the small wins they get fourth in my case, blocking is reserved for incompetence. and i evaluate that objectively cause i seek a challenge. but when that challenge is just relentless word vomit.. sure i take a few swings at it .. but im better off sparing with a human being
Lola Alomairi My ENTJ is very perceptive of my actions, feelings and emotions.
Haily Marie Reimer Young You come in here with such “Good Vibes”
Jessica R Greggs Haily Marie Reimer Young yeah because everywhere I go is kitten and rainbows and shit 🙄
Haily Marie Reimer Young Your profile quote.
Jessica R Greggs Haily Marie Reimer Young And?
Haily Marie Reimer Young That is all this INTJ is going to point out for you.
Jessica R Greggs Just because I have good vibes as my profile quote means I cannot have an opinion on an MBTI type that I’ve had experience with? Y’all reaching af.
Razvan Florentin Popescu or are you both reaching . and who is reaching the farthest? Ni on Ni action ))
Lola Alomairi I found what u said applies to enfps tho, very flaky and self centered. ENTJs are very direct and confrontational, they'll let u know ur place with them and give you certainty, and if anything changes they speak up. That works so great with me.
Razvan Florentin Popescu she is using selfcenterdness/selfish incorrectly , it was meant to be insensitive. or maybe she thinks insensitivity is bad . its hard to make sense of human values really, considering how fucked up philosophy is. everyone is selfish, its just a matter of what values do you put first. NFs would put emotional integrity and politics / intimacy (which looks a bit like hey, im not selfish.. cause its roundabout) NTs put conceptual integrity and utility. (which looks selfish cause its direct and feelers get hurt)
Ruth Coleman Based on your reactions in here I can see why you don’t get on with Male ENTJs. They’ll challenge you and instead of considering their feedback and responding, you block people because you can’t handle it. Me and my INFJ husband constantly challenge one another to be the best version of ourselves. His Fe and my Te are complementary when we take the time to try to understand what the other is actually saying rather than just reacting. Don’t get me wrong, we can have blazing arguments but it always comes down to a Fe/Te difference in assumptions which we can work through because we talk. You just door slam everyone and wonder why you’re not getting anywhere.
Jessica R Greggs Ruth Coleman I’ve considered many of the male ENTJ feedback here, just not he jerks. Ty though come again.
Ruth Coleman Jessica I read the comments. You considered jack. You got butthurt instead of having a debate, which as I said explains why you can’t handle ENTJ men and why you’re probably best sticking to your flakey ENFPs. They love an easy life and will simply agree with you.
Jessica R Greggs Ruth Coleman Thanks for your perspective. I can handle just about anything life throws my way. I pick and choose who I wish to debate with , those that actually have considerate conversation. I don’t need to explain myself to you either as your goal here to is also of nothing significant. Blocked Becky
Marián Bonk Jessica R Greggs So you came here with negative generalisation about ENTJ men and you don’t have a feeling there’s some need to explain yourself? Than wtf are you doing here? This group is not even supposed to be for you so as far as I see it, you SHOULD explain yourself and with the respect to what you’ve said, you have to be ready to take some criticism. You’re posting on entj group while you can’t stand entj feedback? Bit of a thinking would be nice. Yeah, block me... whatever 🤷♂️
Razvan Florentin Popescu she didnt say anything disrespectful to you, just her opinion. your "Ty though come again." seems disrespectful and condescending to me. do i innterpret it wrong ?
Manley Beasley If you want to be emotionally validated, xNFPs are definitely a better match for you. If you want to be encouraged in your strengths, which will overall lead to self actualization eventually, ENFPs are great for INFJs. If you have a handle on your emotions and would rather your spouse spend their energy independently and cooperatively taking over the world with you, and pushing you while you push them - an NTJ is better for you. So, it depends on you a bit. I'm an INFJ. I love ENFPs. However, I married and INTJ woman. I want an independent woman that will be hardcore and motivated all the time, somewhat regardless of what she thinks my emotions may be. They're both great types, but have different motivations, communication styles, etcetera.
Kelly Lynn Carroll What you’re discovering is that ENTJs just don’t want to be your bitch, is all.
Razvan Florentin Popescu well she doesnt perceive herself as a dom. thats the problem. she is a dom with lower logic and higher emotional needs and tries to match up with another dom who is superior .. #quickmaths
Christy Lin You've just stated what qualities you prefer in a partner. ENFPs can also be just as selfish and egotistical, and that is draining too, but how ENTJ's come across to you may just really rub you the wrong way. They may know that you'll be upset with something they say, but it is not important to them. Truth is truth. There nothing wrong with disliking that approach, just a preference for respecting feeling vs. thinking.
Christy Lin The truth is, mature ENTJ's who have developed their empathy and learn to tone down their directness have the best "followers", which make them very strong leaders because they get a lot done. Feelers who need more respect for their emotions will be turned off by people who don't value the same things, which sadly could have been a great partnership or relationship.
Razvan Florentin Popescu Christy Lin in this day and age yes. but its a contextual thing . dont phrase it like directness is a flaw. cause its not. thats the ideal state and we are getting there eventually by AI or by other means
Tim Rickard Not sure why you ever thought ENTJ males were going to be a match if you wanted some emo wussy boy?
Jessica R Greggs Tim Rickard I know quite a few bad ass ENFP’s bet you wouldn’t say that to their face 😉
Tim Rickard Why? Because their emotions might get the best of them and they'd act out violently?
Sam de Melo Michelle Elliott Michelle Zepp Jessica Searcy I think these are the INFJs I tried to explain this to so far. ENFPs are who you're looking for, NOT ENTJs.
Michelle Zepp I'm not "looking" for anyone. lol
Sam de Melo Not my point. lol
Sam de Melo I'm talking about who you consider to be most compatible with your type. What you do with this information is your own thing. I just want to make sure you're informed
Jessica Searcy Sam de Melo ENFP's tend to drive me crazy. I have two that are girl friends and they are so flighty and tra la la that I can only manage them in small doses. But I'm very heavy on the J and fairly split on the F/T.
Lisara A Urbina Sam de Melo I appreciate your opinion but enfps are far from my preference they drain my energy I have no time or in each deal with them. Contrary to popular belief that we are not match entj I know actually doesn't mind me and thinks I'm great so maybe you're a bit too hitched on mbti when judging relationships
Candise Williamson Same here Jessica Searcy! ENFPs kinda drive me nuts 😬
Razvan Florentin Popescu Candise Williamson Lisara A Urbina i think you are showing that capped vision. a relationship has multiple stages. theres the casual one , the lowselfesteem one and there the conflict one relationships mostly get formed through casual stage but last through the other two. the point here is that NFs got what it takes to pull you through those stages > validation and sensitivity of course, not so much in the casual stage as they are full of noise
Michelle Zepp NeFi tend to experience deep wells of emotions, and with Fi following, they tend to be very considerate of others. With this data ( I sound so T), ENFP would seem a bettter fit for understanding Feelers.
Michelle Zepp I was talking to my ENTJ friend. He said, " I like your feelings and emotions. I really like your kindness. As a matter of fact,I like that the most." Doesn't that sound crazy coming from an ENTJ? LOL
Jami Sue Becker Michelle Zepp not really, I love those things in my ENFP friends.
Sam de Melo The idea that such a logical individual as ENTJ could be in a relationship with a feeler to "balance them out" is appealing at first. There are many ways to justify a supposed preference for feelers among us. But when we do, we just don't know what we're talking about LOL. Then, chaos and suffering ensues. No, MBTI is here to tell you who you should be open to a relationship with. USE that information to your advantage.
Razvan Florentin Popescu im a ferm believer in change. ^__^ and im getting better at coaching it. #growthmentalityswitch that F into a T .. gooo T !
Jami Sue Becker I am pretty good at reading minds but maybe her ENTJ’s don’t like what they read...maybe garbage 🗑 lit 🔥
Razvan Florentin Popescu i cant help but make a parallel between this INFJ ENTJ conflict and Donald trump and the leftists. leftists competence and values are just wack .. they are unable to perceive the donald . who luckly has all the red flags in his rhetoric to trigger their value system. this leading to a clear separation between the two factions and making it a whole lot easier to pick the competent side )
Jessica Searcy Razvan Florentin Popescu so if leftist values are whack are you saying INFJ values are whack or ENTJ's? Because in my experience the two types values are fairly on par.
Razvan Florentin Popescu what do you mean on par? they dont have the same value system.. ?
left is for INFJs yes, right for ENTJs
Jessica Searcy I find INFJ & ENTJ have very similar moral & ethical values. High standards, lofty goals. The only difference being how we get to the conclusions.
Razvan Florentin Popescu i disagree. first of all moral and ethical is irrelevant. or at least i dont perceive them as a valid concept second INFJs value politics / intimacy while ENTJs value utility / power.