The Philosophy of Self-Esteem

Convictions are important because they give rise to emotions and actions (practices). They are a crucial factor in the development of an individual's self-esteem. What people think, what they believe, what they tell themselves, influences what they feel and what they do. In turn, they experience what they feel and do as having meaning for who they are.

Action has the last word, in that no living value can be achieved or sustained without it. Beliefs in a vacuum, beliefs divorced from action, mean nothing. But since beliefs do affect actions, since beliefs have action implications, we need to examine them in their own right. There are beliefs that lead toward growth, and there are beliefs that lead away from it. When I speak of "beliefs" in this context, I mean convictions deeply grounded in our being. I do not mean notions to which we pay lip service or ideas we tell ourselves in the hope they will spark desired motivation. I mean premises that have the power to evoke emotion and to stimulate and guide behavior. We are not always fully conscious of our beliefs. They may not exist in our minds as explicit propositions. They may be so implicit in our thinking that we are hardly aware of them or not aware of them at all. Yet they clearly lie behind our actions.

Self-Assertiveness

In general, it is appropriate for me to express my thoughts, convictions, and feelings, unless I am in a context where I judge it objectively desirable not to.

I have a right to express myself in appropriate ways in appropriate contexts.

I have a right to stand up for my convictions.

I have a right to treat my values and feelings as important.

It serves my interests for others to see and know who I am.

Living Consciously

The more conscious I am of that which bears on my interests, values, needs, and goals, the better my life will work.

It is joyful to exercise my mind.

I am better served by correcting my mistakes than by pretending they do not exist.

I am better served by holding my values consciously than unconsciously - and by examining them rather than by holding them uncritically as not-to-be-questioned "axioms."

I need to be on the lookout for temptations to evade unpleasant facts; I need to manage my avoidance impulses and not be ruled by them.

If I understand the wider context in which I live and act, I will be more effective; it is worth my while to seek to understand my environment and the wider world around me.

To remain effective, I need to keep expanding my knowledge; learning needs to be a way of life.

The better I know and understand myself, the better the life I can create. Self-examination is an imperative of a fulfilled existence.

Self-Acceptance

At the most fundamental level, I am for myself.

At the most fundamental level, I accept myself.

I accept the reality of my thoughts, even when I cannot endorse them and would not choose to act on them; I do not deny or disown them.

I can accept my feelings and emotions without necessarily liking, approving of, or being controlled by them; I do not deny or disown them.

I can accept that I have done what I have done, even when I regret or condemn it. I do not deny or disown my behavior.

I accept that what I think, feel, or do is an expression of myself, at least in the moment it occurs. I am not bound by thoughts, feelings, or actions I cannot sanction, but neither do I evade their reality or pretend they are not mine.

I accept the reality of my problems, but I am not defined by them. My problems are not my essence. My fear, pain, confusion, or mistakes are not my core.

Self-Responsibility

I am responsible for my existence.

I am responsible for the achievement of my desires.

I am responsible for my choices and actions.

I am responsible for the level of consciousness I bring to my work and other activities.

I am responsible for the level of consciousness I bring to my relationships.

I am responsible for my behavior with other people-co-workers, associates, customers, spouse, children, friends.

I am responsible for how I prioritize my time.

I am responsible for the quality of my communications.

I am responsible for my personal .happiness.

I am responsible for choosing or accepting the values by which I live.

I am responsible for raising my self-esteem; no one else can give me self-esteem.

In the ultimate sense, I accept my aloneness. That is, I accept that no one is coming to make my life right, or save me, or redeem my childhood, or rescue me from the consequences of my choices and actions. In specific issues, people may help me, but no one can take over primary responsibility for my existence. Just as no one else can breathe for me, no one else can take over any of my other basic life functions, such as earning the experience of self-efficacy and self-respect.

The need for self-responsibility is natural; I do not view it as a tragedy.

Personal Integrity

I should practice what I preach.

I should keep my promises.

I should honor my commitments.

I should deal with other human beings fairly, justly, benevolently, and compassionately.

I should strive for moral consistency.

My self-esteem is more valuable than any short-term rewards for its betrayal.

I should strive to make my life a reflection of my inner vision of the good.

My self-esteem is more valuable than any short-term rewards for its betrayal.

Beliefs About Reality That Support Self-Esteem

That which is, is; a fact is a fact.

Self-chosen blindness does not make the unreal real or the real unreal. Respect for the facts of reality (as best I understand them) yields more satisfying results than defiance of the facts of reality.

Survival and well-being depend on the appropriate exercise of consciousness. Avoidance of the responsibility of awareness is not adaptive.

In principle, consciousness is reliable; knowledge is attainable; reality is knowable.

Values that nurture and support the individual's life and fulfillment on earth are superior to values that endanger or threaten them. Human beings are ends in themselves, not means to the ends of others, and ought to be treated as· such. An individual human being belongs neither to family nor community nor church nor state nor society nor the world. A human being is not property.

All adult human associations should be chosen and voluntary.

We should not sacrifice self to others nor others to self; we should discard the idea of human sacrifice as a moral ideal. Relationships based on an exchange of values are superior to those based on the sacrifice of anyone to anyone. A world in which we regard ourselves and one another as accountable for our choices and actions works better than a world in which we deny such accountability.

A denial of personal accountability does not serve anyone's self-esteem, least of all the person doing the denying. The moral, rationally understood, is the practical.

--

—-oooO—-

—-(—)—-

—–\–(–

——\_)-

———–Oooo—

———–(—-)—

————)–/—-

————(_/-

—-oooO—-

—-(—)—-

—–\–(–

——\_)-